I just got a package from my sister and its a crossbow that shoots bolts which is cool but I put it together anD IT FIRES THEM AT ABOUT 800 FPS I COULD HAVE KILLED MY ROOMMATE I ALMOST SHOT IT AT HIM BUT I HIT A METAL CHAIR THAT THE BOLT WENT THROUGH
I took the metal tip off so its just a plastic bolt
aND ITS STILL PRETTY DEADLY
Where did your sister acquire this.
Are you fucking kidding me? Like, no, Shakespeare wouldn’t tweet a sonnet cause 140 characters is a bit short for that. Wrong medium. But you know what he would have? A very active twitter FULL OF DICK PUNS AND YOUR MOM JOKES okay. (And probably also a blog for the sonnets and longer works, that cross-posts links to twitter anyway.)
Get out of here with that pretentious anti-technology bullshit.
He’d rock the fuck out of memes. Don’t deny it.
Exit, pursued by a doge.
much run wow
I don’t understand people who try to make Shakespeare into a pretentious thing cause he was basically an uneducated dick-joke making dude for the common masses. His historical plays are straight up fanfiction. There’s a scene in Macbeth where two guards are having a conversation as a dude pees on a wall. Get out of here with your Shakespeare snobbery.
male teachers arent allowed to dress code female students anymore at my school because somebody pointed out that if they had been dress coded for their shorts/skirt being too short or their bra showing by a male teacher, that meant said male teacher was looking at her ass and boobs i am laughing my fucking ass off
where is the lie tho
im failing biology
i like how in the sims 3 you can walk around with 1,100 eggs in ur pocket
women do the same except it’s with their vaginas
I have so many questions about the skeleton war like
1: why do skeletons hate fuckboys enough to declare war on them
2: do i have to be dead to join the skeleton war or can i just strip off my skin
3: are dinosaurs involved
my year 8 students had to do a budgeting activity pretending they were living out of home on $2000 a month and I find this written on there help I can’t fucking breathe
We had to do this and I was partnered with a boy whose parents are a scientist and a doctor. My family spawned the book: Top Drawer Villain - autobiography of a London criminal.
First of all, we had to choose where we would shop. He wanted to buy from Booths. “We are not buying from Booths," I snapped. "Get on Asda’s website right now." His face froze.
“A-Asda?" he whispered. "But that’s where… The Lower Classes shop.”
This was a good start.
We then had to decide on a menu. We started on breakfast. “Toast," he said.
“Toast," I said. "Great. Look, Asda has its own wholemeal—”
“Warburton’s thick-slice white bread. Nothing else. With olive oil.”
“You WHAT?" I choked. "You have olive oil, on your toast, in the morning?”
He frowned. “Who doesn’t?”
“Okay," I said, "but what will the children eat?”
He gaped at me. “The children? We have children?”
We continued. All was well until it came to what we would have on our sandwiches. We even sorted out the children’s lunch - they, of course, would get free school meals. “Yes," he agreed; "if we can’t even afford Bertolli then they can get school meals on the government.”
He asked what dressing we should have on our ham. “Nuh-uh," I said. "Can’t have ham. I’m vegetarian.”
“But I’m not.”
“Yes, but we’re married and we can only afford one sandwich filler so it has to be vege—”
“Of course we’re married! You’re devout Christian - how do you think I convinced you to have children?”
He shook his head, frowning. “Well I want ham. You’ll have to put back the washing powder - I need ham on my sandwiches.”
We continued. Finally, it was dinner. “Okay," he said, clearly thinking hard; "for dinner, we can have… Chicken nuggets and… Beans?”
“Vegetarian nuggets then. And beans.”
“We need vegetables. The children have to have a balanced diet.”
“You and your children!" he yelled, and the whole class looked around.
“They’re your children too!" I screamed back.
He leapt to his feet, shaking his head and looking distraught. “I don’t believe it - I don’t believe you! I wouldn’t have your children!”
“Please," I cried, standing up also. "Don’t—”
“I want a divorce!”
And he walked out of the classroom.
The teacher stood up and stared between me and the door through which he had vanished. “I’m sorry," I whispered, "but we couldn’t do it any more. There were just too many differences - I can’t live with someone who thinks champagne is a budget.”
I can’t wait to see this guy when he gets to university.
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Today the Department of Awesome Parenting salutes a dad who helped his kids complete one of the most cutting-edge LEGO projects we’ve ever not seen. Yes, you read that correctly. John Wray and his two kids spent the weekend painstakingly assembling an extraordinarily complex 3,200-piece model of Wonder Woman’s Invisible Jet.
It was a massive undertaking (even the instructions were invisible), but the family worked together and, as you can’t plainly see here, the LEGO model looks exactly like the real thing. Congratulations to the Wray family. You’re super awesome!